For Father’s Day, an Ode to Funny Dad Texts

Dad taught intermediate school language arts in Brooklyn for about 30 years, so the combination of his facility with the English language and dealing with kids in that age range probably honed his sense of humor.

My dad was known for his sarcastic, grumpy texts — especially when he wasn’t feeling well, which was often. He’d use dry humor to let me know he was OK, so I wouldn’t worry.

My dad’s not the most emotive person, but the birth of his granddaughter brought out a side of him I’ve never seen before. Their relationship is beautiful and has enriched my own relationship with my father, too.

These dad jokes have been going on since I was in high school — 10 years of him texting them to make me laugh in the middle of the day.

My dad and I started to send pictures of everyday objects that look like hearts to each other — rocks, shadows, broken tortilla chips. Sometimes it’s a bit of a stretch, but as I’m squinting at the piece of popcorn on the floor, I remember how much he loves me.

As I was experiencing heavy internal debate and agony around the future of a long-term relationship, my dad sent this text. I broke up with my partner the next day.

“Drive safe” is a fairly common comment when I’m driving to see him across town. He sends the more descriptive “Drive carefully” texts during big rain storms. I am now the father of a 1-year-old girl.

My dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2010. When I got engaged in 2018, it was unclear whether he would make it to our wedding. My husband and I decided to get legally married in his hospital room after his second stem cell transplant. He went into full remission in time for us to throw a big wedding celebration. Sadly his cancer came back six months later, and he passed away at the end of 2020.

I moved home for a while — my dad does not typically like to use his phone, but he found it useful for contacting me in the evenings.

I dropped my cats off at my parents’ house to cat-sit while I was on vacation. My dad would stage scenes of the cats like this one of them gambling for cat treats.

My dad is a staunch Republican, leading to many political arguments between us. After DOGE eliminated my federal job in global health, he chose his child when it counted.

My dad watched my baby so that I could have lunch with a friend. How lucky am I?

I was 20 and feeling like I was doing everything wrong. My dad always says exactly the right thing.

My dad always texts me about the moon so wherever I am I can go out and see it too.

My dad used to stop by my house most days to drop off my son from school. He is a man of very few words, but he’s always here for me.

My Indian dad’s obsession with mangoes is next level and he loves to share with everyone.

My father is a Brooklyn-raised Puerto Rican actor. Whatever volume you are imagining for this text, raise it by 100 percent.

I sewed the “wallet” for him when I was about 8 years old. I had forgotten about it until he sent me the photo.

My dad is a soothing balm on my hardest days.

My dad asked me to fly back home for a weekend because he missed me.

My dad, who died this year at 85, was a farmer. Every single text from him, even the gushy ones, included a weather report.

My dad is a math professor.

My dad regularly sends photos of clothes he wants to buy his granddaughter. Every time, he enlists a stranger to hold said clothing rather than just laying it down. I now have eight years’ worth of arm photos.

“Love you kid.” That’s my dad’s line.

My dad and I live in different states and I don’t get to see him often. He makes it a point to send me a text anytime he is thinking about me.

My dad sent this photo of me as a kid, as a completely random mid-week check-in. Clearly, he helped me write it in the sand.

Our daughter had just taught her dad to text the day before. We were headed out for a boat ride that afternoon and Bob likes to get a jump on getting ready. I am sure Kate was regretting teaching him how to text.

My dad is the only person I know that frequently butt dials people in 2025.

We helped my dad rescue Lenny the dog 10 days after my mom passed. The dog has been a blessing, a reason for him to text us, proof of life that he is OK, a reason for him to wake up and talk to neighbors.

I announced my second pregnancy to my family by sending an ultrasound photo in the group chat. My dad thought the ultrasound was a “weather system.”

This is the very first text my dad ever sent me, from his flip phone in 2014. We did in fact meet for lunch, where I showed him how to add spaces. “Poy” meant “proud of you” — his own organic creation.

My dad sent this to me during a tumultuous time at college. He is not one to overly involve himself, volunteer constant advice or push me in a certain direction. When he does impart advice, it is always so needed and really hits home.

My dad takes a daily walk in the woods. He is always sending pictures of the wildlife or scenery he comes across.

He always begins his text with my name and then a period.

I use his jokes all the time with friends who come from serious households. He’s brought dad jokes to dozens of deprived children across the country.

Nothing represents a father’s love quite like a heart-shaped chicken cutlet!

My dad regularly refers to his cats as my sisters.

My dad died in February at age 79 after a 15-year battle with lung cancer. His small messages that would show up on my phone are what I miss most.